From Sydney to Arizona

Grant and I met online through a mutual friend. In the beginning we were just friends because he and my friend were involved in an LDR already. My friend had some big issues with her ex-husband as she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be with him or if she wanted to be with Grant... Grant had decided that he had had enough and decided to move on. When Grant first instant messaged me it was because he saw my screen name on our friend’s list from a forwarded e-mail she sent to both of us. It was a really cute screen name (XshellybeanX) and everything on my profile related to jellybeans (32 jellybeans old, raising 2 little jellybeans etc.). He thought it was cute and imaginative and he instant messaged me. I knew it was him due to my friend raving about him and his Australian accent. When he instant messaged me I felt as though my friend should know upfront that it was completely innocent. I copy and pasted the entire conversation in an e-mail and sent it to her. I figured she would appreciate knowing that it was innocent and there was a new "friendship" in the making (we are all Christians so who would have thought differently?). She definitely didn’t like the fact that we were speaking and that was pretty much the end for them. Grant and I became great friends. He helped me throug some awful boyfriend issues and was always there for me when I needed him... We would talk online, on the phone or e-mail... we chatted for almost a year when I finally told him I was falling in love with him. I knew nothing could come from it because of our mutual friend and the feelings he shared for her (he always felt that there was a reason for them to still be connected, and he never told her of our friendship anymore because it made her so upset and he knew he had to be there for her). He said how much stronger our friendship was because of my honesty. There came a time when he was planning a trip to the States and wanted to know if I would like to meet him. He visited me in 1999, and I knew from the start there was a spark. When he left we were officially dating (my kids loved him to). He went to see our mutual friend right after he left me. 

He called me the night he left and told me how hard it was to leave me and that he couldn’t stop thinking about me. He actually cried.... Grant decided while he was on the 14 hour flight back to Australia that we had to meet again soon. He called me and told me to plan to meet again, but this time it would be in Hawaii. We planned the meeting and I had a sitter for my kids for five days. On the night before we were to separate again he took me to the pier in Honolulu called the Wall on Waikiki Beach and proposed to me. It was so romantic! There were three islanders who were on the pier who started to play some island music. And no Grant didn’t plan it that way, it just happened.... Of course I said I would marry him! We had no idea when we would be able to get married, I had my two kids here who needed to be with their dad, and Grant was involved in a purchase of a house with his mom and sister and auntie. So neither of us were free to move to each other’s country. We got engaged with this in mind, that we may not be able to be together for a very, very long time... We continued to talk on instant messenger, on the phone and in e-mails. One day I got an e-mail from him saying he was going to marry me soon because his family had decided it was time to sell the house. This was such a blessing because Grant would never let his family down and back out of the house. So we made our plans to have me come out to Australia to marry my Grant. I of course had to do some paperwork getting my passport together and my "bride" stuff together and he and his family were doing the rest. Unfortunately the kids couldn’t make it but we did video tape the whole thing and everyone here saw it when I got home... My first flight to Australia to marry him was great! He introduced me to his family and I instantly felt a kinship with each and every one of them. I flew in and got married less than 24 hours after touch down. I met all his family at the wedding...they are great and they are my instant family... 

Our week-long honeymoon ended and I had to go home. Unfortunately my Grant couldn’t come back with me yet. We still had to wait for the sale of the house and the paperwork that was needed to get him here. Six months went by and I had to fly back so I could present all the paperwork to the consulate in person. I made a big mistake - I didn’t have the original copies of my first marriage divorce papers. I was told I would have to go home and bring back the originals. The agreed to finish the interview and I was told to Fed-Ex the originals to Grant so that he had them for his final interview. He finally got approval to come to join me in the US. He got here almost exactly one year after we were married. We spent our first married year apart. On October 27 we will be married for five years, but we’ve been together only four. He is completely legal to work and reside here. He isn’t a citizen and that’s fine with me because when the kids are out of school in five years we will be moving back to Australia to live the rest of our lives. We have to wait only because this is when the kids can decide whether they want to come or not. This is why Grant joined me in Arizona (I call it the waiting room for hell) and left the paradise of Sydney, Australia. I married a man who I met only three times in person the third time was to marry him. Who would have thought such an awesome relationship could come from such a strange situation? I wouldn’t change it for anything!